I was recently sent some photos from the wedding of one of my cousins in England. Apparently, my birth-mother and her husband run a “silliest hat” contest at events like these.

First Place Now, I ask you, who on earth told this person that this was attractive, or indeed, even a hat?? In case you were wondering, this was the first place winner.

Second place went to the mother of the bride, who was wearing a very large, black and white, feathered concoction that didn’t match the rest of her outfit.

Third place also had feathers, they seemed to be the accessory of choice that day. It looked rather like something worn by a Shakespearean sprite. One who was, perhaps slightly tispy… and didn’t have a mirror.

My aunt, the mother of the groom, was quite thrilled that her hat, a rather subdued upside-down flower pot type number, didn’t make the top three.

Myself, I tend to stay away from hats. There are really only four occasions on which I will wear a hat. One: if it’s part of a costume for a play. Two: if I’m having a bad hair day and don’t have to go to work. Three: if I’m going to be spending a while out in the sun and will need a sunshade (both two and three are usually baseball caps). Four: in winter, to keep the tops of my ears warm. And I usually try to stay away from feathers, fruit, flowers, stuffed animals, small cages with live animals, etc.